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Question:
Has anyone ever in the history of mankind, told a potential sexual partner that they had HPV? And If so, how did they frame the information?
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I know people that have. To me it only seems right to. Start by explaining that you have hpv, the virus that causes warts. Then explain how common it is(it is believed that up to 75% of sexually active people carry the virus),Tell them how you are being honest even though it''s hard to explain such a thing.Hope you have luck
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I told my boyfriend. I had a lot of tears, and he was very quiet. It''s not a scenario I ever anticipated being in. He understands, he loves me and he says he doesn't want to break up, but its been 2 weeks and we still haven't had intercourse and he knows he was subjected to it before I was diagnosed. I know I did the right thing telling him and I have to accept whatever he decides to do. Life goes on.
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Best thing to do is be straight forward. It would be incredibly selfish and unfair of you to go ahead and have sex and not tell them. Almost as unfair as the person that did it to you. So let them make the judgment call on whether or not to have sex. Luckily, when I had to do this, she was understanding and got all the facts, and we continue to have sex. So tell her straight up.
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I told my new partner before we ever got intimate, very soon after finding out that I have hpv, and basically told him that I have something to tell him (when the moment was right when we were alone and could talk, preferrably not in the heat of the moment too), and told him how common it was, and how I had to tell him because I cared about him, and that I am seeking treatment. I even mentioned that if it was too much for him to handle, I would understand if he wouldn''t want to be with me.
He replied "If this (meaning sex which we never engaged in) was all that we have, then I could understand breaking up, but it's not...I really care about you" and then he gave me a kiss.
Depending upon the relationship, something as big as this being brought up, could make your relationship 100 times stronger. I knew when he said that to me, that he is the most amazing guy in the world. Of course he had a couple questions, but get as much information as possible for that person, so when they ask, you can tell them! :) Good Luck!
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I lost someone that I cared VERY deeply for by not telling him. After that, when I started dating someone, I would tell him pretty soon. Usually after the third date, when I saw it might be going somewhere. Usually the response is ok. I have educated myself pretty well on the subject so I am able to talk to him about it. Usually he has the type of questions you see on this site (transmission, treatment,etc...).
My advice would be to educate yourself, and tell your partner as soon as you feel its necessary. If it is someone that is right for you, he/she will understand. If he/she flies the coop then they werent worth your time in the first place.
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Count me as one. I had rectal warts, with no outbreak vaginally ever (yet, knock on wood), so it was very difficult and embarrassing for me, so I rehearsed in advance. I started out with what HPV is, how it''s transmitted, and the statistics. I explained that I probably wouldn't be the first infected person that they'd been with, but might be the first one honest enough to tell them in advance, or might be the first one that actually knew they had it, since many people carry it and don't know.
The first guy I told dumped me in a pretty callous way - stood me up for our next date and never called again. I was devastated, and believed that I had become a sexual pariah. Several of my friends who had had similar experiences told me that I should just keep my mouth shut, that the prevalence of this disease is so high that that guy, or any other I got involved with, were going to already have it or get it soon enough anyway, so why put my head on the chopping block? It made a certain amount of sense, but I just couldn't do that.
It was several years before I got involved with anyone again, but the next time I told someone, his reaction was totally different. He said he loved me, that if he waited for someone completely disease free to come along he might as well be celibate, and that he'd deal with it if he got infected.
I married him. :)
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OF COURSE!!!!I have told a few men about my infection and some have left me in the dust and some waved it off as not a problem at all. I believe it all depends on the person, if you tell someone you have this disease and they run away you will know what kind of person they are and you can do without them in your life. Think of it this way, be thankful that from now on you get to screen them on a serious subject before getting too involved and can see before hand if they care about you for you and how they would react to serious issues in the future.
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Absolutely!! I told my husband when we first started dating before we ever had sex. It''s his right to know. I just sat him down and explained things to him. He obviously didn't have a problem with it because 10 years later we are still together.
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My girlfriend contracted hpv from her ex-husband before we were dating. I love her with all of my heart.She did tell me that she has it before we had sex. Maybe I''m crazy or something, but if that person really loves you they shouldn't have a major problem. good luck.
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Hi I found out i had HPV last year when i misscarried with our first child. i told my husband that they had found genital warts and he was absoulutely fine. I no its not a nice thing to have but it can be treated and it isn''t exactly life threatning as long as you stick to having check ups.
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I have told almost every boyfriend/sex partner I have had since I was infected (4 guys). I usually wait about a week or two before I finally tell them. During this period DO NOT have sex with them or do anything with them that could put them at risk. I keep the rule that my underwear doesn''t come off. If they try to touch underneath, just guide their hand away.
When I do tell them, I just say "Before we go any farther, there's something I need to tell you." You can't really beat around the bush.
Just explain to them what it is. I always like to throw out the favorable statistics, like how many people in the USA are infected with it, how it's the most common STD and how many people are infected each year.
Then they usually ask questions, and it's good to be informed so you can answer them. The most important thing to do is to be honest. I think the worst thing that could happen is to get in a relationship and have them find out that you knew you had it all along.
HPV is part of you now, even though you don't want it to be. Anyone who is with you needs to know that.
Out of the 4 guys I told, one of them never called me again.
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no, no one. . . ever. These people all lie.
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I was diagnosed with HPV (genital warts) almost 10 years ago. I have told just about every guy that I have dated and been intimate with. I have never had a guy be a jerk about it or make me feel disgusting about myself (thank God). I usually try and get some literature, in case her has questions, and just be very matter of fact about it. I think it helps that it is such a prevelant disease and more than likely he''s slept with someone that already had it anyways. Hope that helps.
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Anyone in the history of mankind????????
I hope there''s not that many self-serving ignorant people around. I have HPV and I've told several partners in budding relationships about it. It would be horribly wrong not to. If you're just up front with the person about it, then you're gonna get either one of two reactions depending on the person. They'll either write you off and forget they were ever interested or they'll be more mature and start asking questions.In the end it seems to reveal certain aspects about a person's nature you can find a loving companion without going through all the crap of finding out that you don't want to be with someone who would hate you over three letters.
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Yes- My partner explained to me that it was contracted by his wife during her affair that ended their marraige. It was an important and cathartic moment in our relationship, only that kind of honesty can get you through handeling them responsibly.
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its not the end of the world. I know how hard it is to tell someone you have HPV. whenever people told me i should tell my partner, i would get mad at them because they immediately think its an easy simple thing and its not. that being said, they were still right. you should definitely tell your partners.
i told my boyfriend and he was fine with it. the first thing he did after i told him was give me a kiss. HPV is a part of you while you still carry the virus. you just need to assure him that youre telling him/her because you care about them, and that theres a pretty big chance hes already been exposed to the virus. let him know that it just so happens that you had symptoms and yoiu know you have it but it could be anyone that gives it to you. have some info with you... but if they dont ask questions... dont push the issue too much. just go in there knowing your going to discuss it but dont make it a big deal conversation either. that will just freak them out. they can do some googling on their own and realize that its pretty much impossible to avoid if they want to be sexually active.
just be strong. youll feel so much more noble when your done and it will help the relationship grow in to an open, honest, understanding one.
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I had to tell my boyfriend of two years that I had an std and he cried. Just make sure your there to lend an ear to them and remember that unless you knew about it before and did it anyway, you shouldnt feel guilty
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yes, actually the guy who gave it to me is the one I had to let know. since males don''t have symptoms that often, i told him. it wasn't as hard as i thought. really, because he thought i was upset about something tedious. i got us alone, told him the same day i found out i was diagnosed with hpv and told him my experience to the doctor. being blunt can help bring out the situation. we're still together and i don't hold a grudge, b/c i know there's no way to know you have the virus unless you have symptoms.
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