12/8/2003 5:41:32 PM
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blondee
ahhh this is my whole dilemma... I agree with you, hell i told my boyfriend of 2 mos i was sleeping with unprotectedly when i found out and coulda caught it from him, and he wigged out and didnt want to even kiss me anymore, imagine someone who hasnt even done anything with you yet and hasnt even had a chance to catch it... i guess it just depends on the situation. My answer is no sex for now... that way there is no discussion...
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12/8/2003 5:41:41 PM
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texina
I'm sorry to be repetitive, but you are jeopardizing the relationship if you don't tell. Not only are you running the risk of infecting your partner, but you are alsobasing your relationship on fundamental dishonesty which will have consequences down the line.
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12/8/2003 5:45:46 PM
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texina
...I agree that we should all come clean about whether or not we have "told" but the point should be to help each other be honest (it was very hard for me to do, and I still have one past partner to tell) rather than creating some kind of social acceptance for deception.
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12/8/2003 6:14:43 PM
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AK
Disgression should be used when dropping the bomb.We should give ourselves a chance at new relationships,meaning dont tell until it gets to that point.I took the route of abstinence for now and maybe forever.When you meet someone who actually cares for you and you've had a relationship minus the sex the issue of hpv becomes less prevalent especially marriage wise.If sex is the most important thing in a our life or relationship I don't think hpv is the real problem
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12/8/2003 6:22:20 PM
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AK
Also just because ppl have been outbreak free does not mean that HPV is not still present or that it can't be passed. I dont have any outbreaks and I still have HPV unless you are considering dysplasia an outbreak. I dont like having this virus so I am not passing it for someone else to freak out about it unless marriage comes into play. The more spreading we do the more ppl have it soon everyone will have it and thats not cool.
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12/8/2003 8:20:35 PM
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Craig
Medical research on HPV is very inconclusive. You may A. believe your body rids itself of it or B. believe you will always have it and keep spreading it to everyone. You have doctors that believe both. So since it is not black and white neither is the answer to this dilemma.
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12/8/2003 8:26:49 PM
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Craig--what makes you think your partner wouldn't see it as black and white? What gives you the right to make that decision for him/her?
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12/8/2003 8:34:26 PM
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blondee
I have to agree with craig on this one. Everyones body is different and everyones circumstances are different. We cannot judge eachother. one reason no one wants to "tell" is becuz we dont want to be judged
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12/8/2003 8:37:13 PM
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blondee
A note tho, is that we are not your average sexually active individual here. we are concerned about the spread, we got this w/o a choice, and we dont want others put in teh same predicament. Casual sex is out of the question, but i dont think that we are the type that had casual sex to begin with. those are the ones that we all complain about, who are "sluts" and walking around diseased free...i have numurous friends like that...
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12/8/2003 8:39:01 PM
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blondee
I do hope, that when we all meet that special someone, that they are understanding, and caring, and that it doesnt change the way they feel about us, or look at us differently. We are telling becuz we care, and I hope that the person on the other end will receive the news graciously. If not they are undeserving of us. until then, pray for a cure :-)
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12/8/2003 8:42:40 PM
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Dodden
What I want to know is where are the vaccines that have been in the works forever now seems like?? All the links to those vaccines and updated info are old yet I've heard nothing new. I'm the last person that will want to spread this but I'm tired of dealing with this dilemma and haveing it ruin my love life. I don't want to sleep around I just want to not have to drop a bomb on someone.
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12/8/2003 8:44:33 PM
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blondee
dodden-i hear you, you just want to be able to fall and love and not worry about the person leaving when you tell them.. that is my biggest fear! I hate heartbreak!
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12/8/2003 9:00:14 PM
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Latest news I heard is that Merck (the company with the preventive vaccine in the pipeline) is running into financial problems, which could spell trouble. So, write to Merck and let them know you care!
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12/9/2003 10:03:17 AM
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cwissy
PM, I will write but what is their address or where can I locate it?
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12/22/2003 2:45:33 PM
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I'd have to agree with Craig. Besides what right do people have to force other people to tell and ruin their lives? I don't think it's an easy thing to be a martyr and that decision should be made by each person. I mean are you ready to die on the cross? I'm not.
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