Posted: 1/20/2004

Please let me know what you think.

I've dated my highschool sweetheart up until about 6 months ago. We were together about 7 years. We had a few small breakups, but nothing major. We've been talking alot and having a decent time together. I've asked her if she would like to try again, etc.. and she kept saying she wasn't ready. She would continue to act out signs that she wanted too though, text messaging me, emailing me, kissing me, and almost more. We're best friends and I would she would never lie to me. Today when I was talking to her I was getting sort of "in her face" about what's been going on. I explained to her that it's hard to just be her friend and I was convinced there was someone else. She finally told me 3 months ago she was seeing someone and then started crying, I asked what the heck was wrong and she explained that he gave her herpes, and kinda beat herself up with words saying things such as "The one time I try someone new I get fucked over" - She thinks this is it, she can't get married, her life is over, etc. etc. I'm slightly more educated then she is on this so she is freaking out. My dilemma, she explained this is a huge part of why were are not back together yet. That she feels terrible and definitely doesn't want to be repsonsible for me getting it. I want to be with her and vise versa, what do you guys think? This is a tough situation but I imagine some of you have been through this.

Comments:

1/19/2004 9:15:56 PM - Joe
This is tough obviously. We'd all be
hypocrites here if we said, "oh don't
date her cause she has herpes because
look at us..we have GW". I dont' know
what to tell you to be honest. You
knew how you felt about her before you
knew she had it and if you really love
her and think she is the one then maybe
this isn't the stop sign you think it
is.

1/19/2004 9:17:39 PM - Joe
I also think 7 years is a lot to throw
away too...you guys have some history
and I dont' know if I could throw that
away herpes or not. I wish you the
best of luck though...maybe some others
can chime in and give better
advice...I'm not so great with this.

1/19/2004 9:33:26 PM - blondee
i wouldnt just jump in the sack with
her thats fo' sho. Not just the herpes
thing, but also cuz although u dated 7
years YOU BROKE UP. There is a reason
why you broke up. I went back with my
high school sweetheart. We dated 2.5
yrs and then broke up and got back
after a year. I thought it was going to
be amazing and i was going to marry
him. The fact is, there was a reason
why it didnt work out. And that didnt
change, even a year later.

1/19/2004 9:35:07 PM - blondee (cont)
So, if you really love her, then take
things slow, really really slow. I
wouldnt sleep with her until i knew she
was teh ONE cuz herpes isnt like
warts. it does stay with you forever.
I wish you all the luck. You sound
like quite a guy.

1/19/2004 10:01:26 PM - n
I'm a female but that is my situation
only with HPV, The reason we broke up
is because we were together for three
yrs and i was so young and i just
needed to BE ME-well i was me and i got
HPV(not that i was ever careless with
who i slept with)well i am back with my
ex and like stated before herpes is
different than HPV but my HS sweetheart
decided he still loved me and i still
loved him we had no real problems that
we shouldnt be together

1/19/2004 10:03:45 PM - n
so he decided HPV was something he
could deal with. Although we have sex
less often due to pain/treatments our
relationship is even better than ever,
sex sometimes becomes to big of a part
its amazing to lay in bed and talk
about our lives and such at night-when
usually we would be having sex its
nice. (sex is still good too though
hehe) but our relationship changed from
HPV-for the better!

1/19/2004 10:43:58 PM - Joe
n, that's great to hear...thanks for
the encouraging story!!!

1/20/2004 8:30:15 AM - Dr
Herpe is very different with GW, You
must serious consider what the outcome
once you inflected, pls consult your
family doctor......

1/20/2004 10:02:21 AM - Cwissy
Honestly Joe, I would not do it. I was
with the guy who gave HPV to me for 8
years, and if I could I would take it
all back. I think this is a really,
really bad move. I can see you love her
but you must love yourself more

1/20/2004 10:16:28 AM - Cwissy
(cond) Joe, do you see yourself
marrying her? You also have to think,
what if you two break up. THEN YOUR
F***. As mentioned above, there is a
reason for the break up.

1/20/2004 10:21:02 AM - cwissy
OOPS, YOUR NAME IS NOT JOE. SORRY.
TEACHER, I STUPID. :)

1/20/2004 10:29:14 AM -
Hey guys - 25% of everyone has herpes!
So it's not that different from GW.
Could be seen as less dangerous than GW,
even - no cancer connection.

1/20/2004 11:50:51 AM - Cwissy
What??? it is different. You're basing
the difference between HPV and HSV by
percentage? Sounds silly to me.

1/20/2004 12:24:11 PM - blondee
differnt not different, even if she
didnt have HSV, i would still say to
take it slow and reflect on your past
relationship. Why did it end? Who
ended it? Was she interested in you
still after break up or jsut after
breaking up with this guy and has the
nobody will want me now feeling? Be
careful!!!

1/20/2004 2:12:16 PM -
Thanks for all the comments. She was
interested in me after the breakup, we
couldn't trust eachother towards the
end, it was silly b/s. She still goes
to stores and buys me small thing that
are cute, and I tend to do the same,
mostly because I consider her my best
friend as well. Which I feel is
important for any relationship to
succeed. I am a firm believer that
people need to "get things out of their
system" I know I did when we split for
a bit.

1/21/2004 8:22:34 AM - Captain G
Well bro, tough decision for you. HPV
isn't for life but herpes most
certainly is, or at least is seriously
considered to be. If you could se
youerself spending the rest of your
life with her, then who cares about
herpes. It's just a rash that barely
happens. AS nothing as herpes is, it's
still for life and it will prevent
future girls from wanting to be with
you, because of the stigma and the for
life thing.

1/21/2004 8:24:28 AM - Captain G
on the plus side of getting back
together, she'll never sleep around on
ya.

On the negative side, you'll more then
likely contract it yourself.

1/22/2004 5:40:03 AM - hunny
just wanted to ask blondee how long
have u had warts?...because seems a
very long time since u been posting
answers and u say u still have some so
i wonder if is just because u haven't
got the right treatment or u have way
to many warts or what..sorry don't
mean to embarras u or be mean just
wondering how long would take to clear
it on a woman.

1/22/2004 7:29:10 AM - blondee
no problem hunny. I have had them
since 11/10/03. I had acids at first,
and they would go away-comeback go away-
comeback. now i am on aldara. I also
found them THE DAYthey appeared. I am
still in the process of my first
breakout. THey are going away, but it
takes time. I have been using aldara
now for 2 wks...

1/24/2004 9:24:35 PM - Tracy
Herpes and warts are very much the
same, but also different. From what I
know is that herpes works the same
way, your immune system can get it
under control and eventually you will
stop having outbreaks. I do believe it
is much longer, and the outbreaks are
painful from the sources that I've
had...

1/24/2004 9:27:36 PM - Tracy
The thing is, is this someone you
would like to spend the rest of your
life with? Because if it is than you
would be cheating yourself if you
didn't pursue this. Although, if this
is only a fling kinda of thing than it
would be better to remain friends. It
is a tough decision that you have to
make, but only you know what is best
for you. Maybe just try to have a
relationship without sex until you
really know. Good Luck.

Return to Personal Experiences

General Site Information: