Posted: 1/20/2004

I Need Some Help

I was diagnosed with genital warts about a month ago. I got the treatment for it using the TCA (acid burning stuff). After going to my 3d treatment, my warts were gone (I thought). Then about 1 week after that, it seemed as though the same warts are coming back in the same places. My doctor then put me on Aldara, and the warts seemed to have shrunk, but now it seems that I have more. But that is not the bulk of my problems. I am in a new relationship with a guy that I have been friends with for about 6 years. Me and him have never been sexually active, but since we are in a serious relationship I am not sure what to do. I love him very much and before we even get to that level of having sex, I want him to know the truth. But I am not sure I should tell him, and I really don't want him to leave me because he is the best thing I have ever had. What should I do about it? Should I tell him even if my warts go away? What if we are together for a while, and my warts come back? What will my excuse be then? I don't want him to be hurt for me exposing him to this if I don't tell him, but I also want to (if they disappear) block this out of my life. Please help?

Comments:

1/20/2004 2:45:28 AM - n
I think that if you have been friends
with him forever and you really fully
understand HPV yourself you wont have a
problem telling him. I know your
probably scared that he will flip and
think your gross or something and never
want to talk to you again but if he was
willing to risk your friendship he must
think your something special and really
want to be with you. First educate
yourself, take this relationship slow,
its something you can recover from

1/20/2004 2:51:06 AM - n-cont
i do however think your best to be
honest from the start-that could mean
tell him tomorrow or you could wait
until the sex issue is mentioned-in
time they will disappear but if you are
worried they will come back just tell
him from the start...im sorry if this
doesnt help..i told my bf and he is
okay with it and we are still
together...good luck hun

1/20/2004 2:04:07 PM - nokea00
thanks so so much for the advice. I
think I am going to tell him tonight,
but I am still kind of scared. I feel
as though he would be understanding but
probably hurt also. I will get back to
you on the conversation.

1/20/2004 2:52:47 PM - n
Good luck, I dont see him being hurt
perhaps confused? Even ppl w it are
confused so expect that from him! If
its meant to be it will work!!(thats my
new motto about everything!)any other
questions or just feel like you need to
tlk we are all here for you! Although
sex is great, it isnt the main thing
when it comes to keeping a relationship
and if it is then thats not really the
best relationship!

1/20/2004 2:53:47 PM - n cont
so build up the other areas of your
relationship with him-you can still be
intimate and not have sex-if ur happy
then it will help to clear this and
then have a normal sex life again! best
of luck!

1/20/2004 3:01:44 PM -
we are discussing it now and he says
that he does not know what to say. i
told him to at least read about it
before he makes any decisions

1/20/2004 5:42:35 PM -
make sure to let him know it is not
permanent ... the virus is eradicated
by the body in time.

1/20/2004 6:19:44 PM -
he told me that he does not know what
to say about it. that it is serious to
him and he would just talk to me later
tonight. I was kinda hirt because, our
future was left in the air. I talked
to my mom about it and she told me to
just give him time and if he wants to
be that ignorant about the situation
than we never had anything at all.

1/20/2004 7:16:45 PM - blondee
ugh guys suck really suck. Just becuz
you ahve warts doesnt mean he cant date
you. You just cant fuck for now. The
problem is that those that dont have it
or dnot know they have it think its a
big deal. We are just like eh, it
coulda been worse, it coulda been
herpes. Give him time, take things
slow. If he is the guy you think he
is he will come around. if not, fuck
him.

1/20/2004 8:44:32 PM - n
Aw sweetie! Like i said there are other
aspects to a relationship besides sex
and hopefully he will realize that and
come to his senses! If not as sad at
that would be you will find somebody,
maybe not tomorrow but in time! better
to know this about him now than after
you fell totally in love w/ him and
then he left...but who knows he might
be back!

1/20/2004 11:30:26 PM - tony
key here is education. he does not need
to think this is a "death sentence". My
wife and me were together 4 years
before we got married. about 4 months
after I met(spelling) her, I found out
I had gw. we have been married for
almost 3years and together for 7. Its
funny because she is almost 10 years
younger than I am. By the way, she has
had negative paps since we have been
married. If it is ment to be, it will
happen. Good luck.

1/20/2004 11:58:23 PM - tony
note on last comment. We both are not
sure if she gave to me or I got from
last gf. We were both in
relationships, that partners were not
faithfull. Not to get personel, but she
is 27 and I am 37, and she is very
mature to the fact that this is
something we can both live with and
deal with. Like they say, women are
more mature at a younger age than men
are.......

2/3/2004 10:46:47 PM - jr
tony about how long did it take for you
to clear this

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