Posted:
1/31/2005
How could I have been soooo stupid?
Well in two days I have my appointment to find out if this thing that I have in my pubic hair is in fact a fucking gental wart. I know it is, it has to be, what else could it be? I am such a idiot, this whole time (the time I have been sexually active) I have been obsessed with herpies. I went to the gyno like at least 10 or more times claiming to have it. Everytime they looked at me like I was crazy, I never had herpies. What I want to know is this, why the hell didn't those f-ing doctors and n/p's tell me that there is something else to worry about. I though hey if I had genital warts I WOULD KNOW because I WOULD SEE THEM (the classic discription I had in my mind was the whole cauliflower thing). I never though I could get gw because I would obviously see the warts on a penis before I would allow "entry". I was stupid. Now I really do have a SDT and its worse then herpies!!! I feel like I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out again. I hate myself for being so stupid and irreasponsible. I hate myself for now being contaminated. I hate myself because I may have given this to someone. I am scared. I don't know if I can handle this. IF this disease is so prevelant, then why is there not more info available, why do these doctors neglect to warn you about this lurking evil? Why is there not a Walk for HPV to raise money for research? If so many people have it, why do I feel so alone. -24 year old femaleComments:
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